Most relationship conflicts arise simply because one, both or more
people in a relationship won’t let the other(s) change.
Relationships are repeatedly established through need not love. They are
generally based upon long term negative energy patterns and emotional games…
games that keep one or more persons’ small. One person is usually dominant, controlling,
abusive and needs to feed off others. Their ‘victims’ usually display poor me behaviours
and allow the pattern to continue. This isn’t to say all relationships are deeply
negative, but they usually have some degree of this patterning because it’s the
most common and most time tested pattern underlying mass consciousness. In
other words, we accept it usually without question because… well, after all, most
people do it!
Supporting each other’s self-lacking behaviour is often the bond
that keeps people together and not the love they profess to be sharing. Love
has no feeding behaviours… love is accepting of self and others for where they
are in the moment. They set up elaborate feeding programs so that when one
person wants to stop playing and step into their own energy, the other knows
how to prevent them. The usual blocking phrase is, “You think you’ve changed!...
you haven’t changed a bit”.
That phrase is specifically used to make the victim feel small
again. It sets up conflict between what the person is choosing and feeling and
what their partner/friend/parent/teacher/colleague is telling them because it’s been human nature
to believe others rather than self. The victim will then usually feels deeply saddened
that they couldn’t rise above the old views of self, gives their energy away again,
and the old game continues. Sometimes the game will change pattern if the
feeding is weakened. We have a myriad of designs to keep ourselves in old behavioural
patterns.
It takes courage to feel that there’s a different way to live. It
takes self-belief to make the choice to change and
stay in that change. It takes a
strong heart to say “I don’t care if you don’t choose to see who I am now… I
don’t care if you can’t see past the past… I can… I am!”
As you shed your old self and release the old patterns, your relationship will
change because they can’t continue to create drama with you if you don’t join
in. They will either change with you or seek others to join in with their
energy games. Losing friends or partners is difficult… but it’s more difficult
to stay with them. As I’ve gone through all my changes on my journey to
enlightenment many of my relationships have fallen by the way side… only to
bring in clearer more loving ones… and many have also changed with me. There’s
no more missing out or ‘poor me’ or need to control… you simply release the
games and come into self-love… that’s all the ‘energy’ you will ever need to
fuel your divine human life.
By Sue Norman with love and honour
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