This weekend I gifted myself a weekend away by myself. The
school holidays have been very busy and I was feeling run down and shut down
and I really wanted some time and space to myself to re-balance.
I found this lovely Bed and Breakfast in Eastbourne which
was just perfect with lots of space to myself. I had my own lounge with a view
over the harbour, a fireplace and a spa in the garden! I usually shy away from B&B’s
because when I want time to myself to rebalance I’m mostly pretty unsociable,
but in Eastbourne there are no other options and the bonus was a beautifully
prepared breakfast in the morning which took the self-pampering to a whole new
level!
It was so blissful to kick back in my own space, to please
no-one but myself. Being away from home really allowed me to feel into my own
energy and to break away from the various family energy dynamics, and not just
for a couple of hours but for a couple of days! Going away from home means
there are no temptations to do chores or work, there’s nothing around you to
remind you of what needs to be done, giving yourself full permission to totally
focus on self and be completely self-full. Time to just breathe, sleep, pamper
and love self and just BE! Without any demands on my time I allowed my soul to
lead and focused on just what my soul wanted to do or eat.
How much can you allow for yourself? Do you allow nice
things into your life or beautiful possessions or do you ‘make do’? Do you
allow things to unfold just perfectly or do you self-sabotage your experience
by allowing little things to go wrong or irritate you? We know that energy is
here to serve us but can you allow yourself to be pampered by someone
else? As you read this, do you find
yourself saying ‘yes but.. I’m too busy/
I don’t have the money/ my family needs me..’? These are all ways of affirming
that you don’t think you deserve a better experience, and serve to limit your
experience. How much are you willing to receive? Every moment is an opportunity
to choose what we are willing to receive in our life.
This was a gift to myself because I love myself and for no
other reason than that. I don’t need to justify it in anyway by saying I
‘deserve it’ or ‘I need it’, it is just a gift from the heart and what a gift!
I will definitely be doing this again!
So much time to myself also allowed me plenty of time to
contemplate. Lately I have been focussing on being more ‘real’, but I found myself
asking; what is ‘real’, and who is
the ‘real’ me? Is it the things I feel
comfortable with, identify with, or aspire to? When I’m at home I’m a Mum, a
partner and an Interior Designer, but now I’m away and on my own, all those
roles fall away and I found a tendency to want to revert back to who I was
before all those things came into my life. So who is the real me when there are no
external expectations or references to shape my experience of myself?
But as I continued to ponder the question of who is the real
me, it came to me – it doesn’t matter
– these questions are really just musings of the mind wanting to label
something; to put it in a box.
I believe the real me is when you leave your head out of it
and follow your heart. It’s the things you get excited about, the things that
fill your heart with joy, the things your soul wants to do, or just be, I think
that’s the real me.. So based on that, the things I’m identifying with this
weekend would be the real me because they have brought me great joy!
‘I Am that I Am’ in any given moment and as long as I follow
my soul and follow my heart than that is who I am and all I ever need to be!
by Natacha Anthoni
by Natacha Anthoni
